Scammers Trying To Pull The Christian Act - Not Cool!

I hope you've all heard of the Nigerian scam, or the advanced-fee, account transaction scam. The one that tells you some king  died and left you with all his money, all you have to do to claim it is wire some money from your account into some fake account. Or, when playing on people's greed doesn't work, they pull the sympathy card. Somebody's in serious trouble somewhere and can't access their funds, and they need you to save the day by wiring them money from your account and then you get a large return or some such nonsense.

The latest mutation of these schemes, targets Christians in particular, pulling every emotional trick they can, and pushing what they hope are the right emotional buttons to swindle Christians into giving up their money, their bank account information, and other personal information that when in the wrong hands can and does sometimes lead to identity theft, which really ruins lives.

Well, here's one Christian who is not buying their tall tales or their religious pretenses.

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Subject:  You Are God Sent,Reply Immediately.

Me: Uh, from a Christian standpoint, such as mine, everyone is God-sent simply by being born. So yeah, I exist, you don't in this particular persona, I'm pretty sure of that. You may not like my reply, however immediate it is...

Sender:  Mrs Sam Sogoba sam_sogobaa@sify.com

Me: Erm, *twitch* I hope your name is Samantha and you call yourself Sam for short. I do not take nicely to the Chauvinistic idea that a married woman becomes the man's property and loses her identity! If I got married, I would not call myself Mrs. (hubby'sname) I would be Mrs. Capri somebody, got that?

Recipient:  undisclosed recipients: ;

Me: No kidding. You wouldn't be any relation to that little freak Grace Greca Koffih spammer would you?

Date:  Wed, 21 Jul 2010 14:20:37 +0000 (GMT)

Spammer: Dear God Sent, Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â

Me: Right, you obviously don't know my name...

Spammer: I am Mrs. Joy Sam Sogoba,

Me: Joy Sam? What were your parents thinking!?

Spammer: I am 58 years old, I am suffering from a long time cancer of the breast, from all indication ,my conditions is really deteriorating and it is quite obvious that I can"t work or do any stressful thing, according to my doctors, they have advised me that I may not live for more then one month, because the cancer stage has gotten to a very bad stage.

Me: A likely story. If the Sudanese spammer who couldn't type worth a darn couldn't cobble together enough of a tear-jerk story, why not follow the tradition of the sick person hoax chain letter and toss the big C word into the story, that oughta REALLY get people giving up their money, their identities, and their very lives for you, not to mention crying you oceans of tears! Not gonna happen here,, lady!

Spammer: I was brought up from a motherless babies home in Rome

Me: Stop trying to write poetry, you royally suck at it. They call "motherless babies' homes" 'orphanages. So, not only do you have cancer, but you were an orphan as well, you think spreading on the soppy sap will make your story ring any truer and squeeze any tears and most importantly, money out of me, to line your fat coffers with more ill-gotten loot? Think again!

Spammer: and I was married to my late husband for twenty years without a child,

Me: Okay, I get it, you had a fruitless life. Orphaned, childless, husband kicked the bucket.  Still no tears. Get on with it will you?

Spammer: we were true Christians and my late husband was also brought up from a motherless babies home in Rome.

Me: "Were" true Christians, well you aren't one now, or you wouldn't be trying to milk everyone for sympathy to get them to hand over all their money and who knows what else. So now the story isn't sad enough, but you tell me your late hubby was an orphan as well? And tossing around the word "Christian" is really going to get me to believe you and open my heart and most importantly, my wallet to you. Uh, NO!

Spammer: Since his death I decided not to re-marry, I sold all my inherited belongings and deposited all the sum of $6.5 million dollars to the ECO-BANK Burkina Faso West Africa when i was in missionary work for more then five years over there. Â

Me: Liar, liar, skirt on fire! If you were a missionary, you wouldn't be trying to bilk people out of their money and using an over-done pity story to do it.

Spammer: Presently, I am using my laptop in the hospital at Frankfurt Germany where I have been undergoing treatment for my sickness.

Me: My oh but my goodness you sure get around!

Spammer: I lost my ability, even to talk and my doctors have told me that I have only one month to live.

Me: Um, like, you sort of - like, kind of - like, told me that already, yknow! Just sayin!
You're not too disabled to commit fraud... Still no tears...

Spammer: From my condition now, I decided to donate this fund for the work of God.

Me: Ooooooh, oooooooh, like OMGZOMGZOMG! Gotta do something, after all, "us poor little gullible schmucks" (according to you, at the other end of the modem, receiving your codswallop story and message SURELY want to help you do the work of God! Wrong! You're not working for God! You are trying to rob people, and you are using pity and playing on Christians sense of wanting to do God's work, against them! SHAME ON YOU!

Spammer: I want 70% of this money to be invested/donated to any motherless babies’ home of your choice because it is where I came from,

Me: Not gonna happen. I don't have a lot of money to throw around and you certainly aren't going to give me 7% of any fund, because it doesn't exist! I wouldn't even give you my spare change!

Spammer: poor homes, the deaf homes, and churches etc.

Me: Look, you have the resources, you don't need me, heck, I'd be in need of these funds before you would, so don't bother me with this jibberish that doesn't even make sense.

Spammer: All I seek for, is a God fearing person like you, who will carry out my last wishes

Me: "last" wishes? Hah! That's a hot one! I'll bet you're just getting warmed up, wishing for all the gazillions you hope to get from kind-hearted Christians who may not yet be on to your fraudulent scheme!

Spammer: and before I emailed you today i prayed and the holy spirit gave me the confidence to send you this email.

Me: BULLCRAP! Whatever confidence you got, sure as heck didn't come from the Holy Spirit! And I can guess what you prayed, too.:

"Dear Unholy Fraud! Don't let me down now! Let me be successful in making every Christian I can manage to email, very, very sorry for me, and believing in me completely! Let them open their hearts, and then their wallets so that I may get all their money, and then their important information such as bank account numbers, names etc. so that I can keep tabs on them and send them more bogus stories so they give me all their money until they're broke, and then I'll laugh and dance my way to all the banks in the world because I'll be filthy rich! Dear Fraud, please make me rich!"

Spammer: I took this decision, before I rest in peace because my time will soon be up.

Me: Yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah, you already cried out this sob story several times within this one letter alone. Still, not a single tear for you from me!

Spammer: As soon as I receive your reply, I shall give you the contact of my bank in Burkina Faso and my contact person who use to give me information of anything from the bank.

Me: Right, I don't want your bogus information, your bogus bank number or bogus contact. I won't open my account, believing you will deposit any money into it, because you would take my own money and run!

Spammer: My contact person, is one of the staff in the bank there. He will direct/advise you and given you any secret information on how you will get the fund to your bank account.

Me: Oh, so you're just the front for this international fraud&theft ring, you're not the mastermind, your bank contact person is? Well, as to advising, I have some for you and all of your sorry pals, VAMOOSE! In case you don't know, that means GO AWAY!

Spammer: Note:You will activate the account before the bank will transfer the fund to your bank account because the fund must have been dormant since then. Â

Me: Note - I will do no such thing, because I'm not falling for that crooked scheme!

Spammer: All I need from you is

Me: Besides being told in no uncertain terms to take a long walk off a short plank - woops, that's right, you can't walk... Anyway, do you never shut up?

Spammer: a confidential assurance that as soon as this fund is received by you ,it will be used for the said purpose.

Me: The word is "sed" not "said" and no, won't happen, because that isn't your true plan, and you're not getting one red cent from me!

Spammer: I am not afraid of death

Me: You might be if you swindled the wrong victim...

Spammer: hence that same God who made me fatherless and motherless since I was born

Me: So your life has and will continue to suck. If you keep this up, you're going to cry enough to require an ark... And still, no tears from me...

Spammer: knows what I will be and where I am going to.

Me: As if you really believe in and care about that, what a liar...

Spammer: I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord.

Me: Yknow, I really can't believe that, nor can I tell you where you are destined since it isn't my job to work that out. Stop trying to exploit Christianity and Christians to perpetuate fraud! You are detestable!

Spammer: Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace.

Me: Even the devil can quote scriptures and try to use them to suit his own ends! So don't give me any more of your phony twisted religious exploitive crap! God will not fight for you to help you rob innocent, honest people who never did you any harm!

Spammer: My God must help you to get this money as I told you above amen,

Me: Your god is not my God. My God is the real one, your god has a very different name, it's called Greed!

Spammer: because you are the only one that my mind convinced me to contact.

Me: Well, that's at least a little more honest, your mind made you do it. Anyway, so I'm the one and only, yet you sent this to a list of "undisclosed recipients" Riiiiiiiight...

Spammer: Please send me your Full name,Age,Occupation, Full Address, Your Tele phone Number and your International passport or any official ID Card like driving lenience.

Me: My first name is None. My last name is Business. My full name is None Of Your Business
I'm  0/105-years old.
I'm a retiree student ditch-digger working on computers in a high-rise right in the center of the Alaskan Australian jungle desert.
I live on 1234 Smart Street, Spambustation, Hoaxton.
my phone number is: area code 544 (that spells "lie") 000-0000...
we don't have drivers "leniences" here.

 Spammer: I shall forward all those information’s

Me: I just bet you would, if you had that info...

Spammer: to my bank  in Burkina Faso/my contact person in the bank there and I will let them know that you’re my next of kin.

Me: Thank goodness that isn't true! I wouldn't want to be related to you! Anyway, sure, forward a big "Bugger off!" to your bank contact person as well if you like.

Spammer: I must instruct them to transfer the fund to your bank account as soon as you contact them.   Waiting for your urgent reply. Mrs Joy Sam Sogoba  

Me: And I must instruct you to forget it. You'll never get a thing from me other than a rough sendoff!

Posted via email from capri